"Show, Don't Tell”: Your Key to Standout College Application Essays
August 13, 2023 | By Daniel Strom
“Show, don’t tell” is a writing technique that requires you to dive deep into your essay with specific examples and details that immerse the reader in your experiences.
Think back to the last time you watched a movie that had you on the edge of your seat. You weren't just told about the protagonist's emotions; you saw their clenched fists, heard their racing heartbeat, and felt the tension in the air. In the same way, your college essay should be more than just words on a page; it should be an immersive experience that lets admissions officers walk in your shoes, feel your struggles, and celebrate your victories.
However, “Show, don’t tell” does not mean turning every sentence into an overly elaborate scene. The strongest college essays balance vivid details with direct reflection, allowing readers both to experience important moments and understand why those moments matter.
Getting into Your Admissions Reader's Mindset
Some essays have a great hook and continue with specific details that keep me intrigued. Others begin generically and include phrases like "passion-driven" and "excellence-seeking" over and over. The essays I enjoy don’t just tell me about the applicant’s personal traits but show me the vivid snapshots of their journey, the defining moments that shaped them, and the passions that fuel their dreams.
How “Show, Don’t Tell” works in Practice
For example:
My dad was furious with me. I was terrified.
From this example, we can understand that the writer's father was angry and that the writer was scared, but it's boring and doesn't prompt a visceral reaction from the reader. Let's spruce it up a bit:
My dad marched toward me, his jaw clenched. As his voice filled the hallway, my shoulders tightened and the apology I had rehearsed disappeared from my mind.
In this example, the writer details specific actions and emotions. These concrete details create a more memorable essay.
Crafting Your Distinct Narrative
To transform your writing from vague to vibrant, focus on specifics, dynamic verbs, sensory details, and emotional resonance. Think about transforming vague statements into lively scenes that allow readers to walk in your shoes. For instance:
Vague (Tells):
“I always try to treat others the way I would like to be treated, regardless of who they are.”
Lively (Shows):
“Even when someone does something unlikable, I treat them with respect. Last month, a man was pacing frantically and cut in front of me at the grocery store. My pessimistic thoughts jumped at the opportunity to assume the worst intentions. ‘What a jerk!’ I immediately thought as my pulse raced. But then my principles kicked in, encouraging me to put myself in his shoes and assume best intentions on his part. ‘Maybe he has an emergency,’ I rationalized as I gave him a warm smile.”
Some Tools to Help You “Show, Don’t Tell”
1. IMMERSE YOUR READERS USING SENSORY DETAIL
While visual imagery is compelling, don't hesitate to explore taste, smell, touch, sight, and sound. Engaging the reader's senses works like a magnet that pulls them into your narrative. For instance:
"The fluorescent lighting shined so brightly that my eyes began to water."
2. BREATHE LIFE INTO YOUR NARRATIVE WITH SPECIFIC, VIBRANT VERBS
Instead of relying on generic verbs, choose precise, active verbs that guide readers through your experience.
"Tiptoeing out of my cabin, I noticed the security guard retreat from the snack bar. Filled with feelings of apprehension, I darted my eyes towards two dogs on the balcony, ready to pounce. Frozen in place, I held my breath."
3. BE SPECIFIC!!!
Remember, phrases like "I have been passionate about science ever since I was a little boy" are clichés and will not serve you well in an admissions essay. Take them a step further by aligning your interests with a specific experience.
Not specific:
"I have been passionate about reading for as long as I can remember."
Specific:
"Growing up with a single parent who worked the graveyard shift, books became my best friend. I spent every evening reading Greek mythology and scribbling alternate endings in the margins."
In Essence…
Embrace your storytelling skills and bring your narrative to life. Your tale is one-of-a-kind, and "Show, don't tell" is your ticket to making it shine brightly.
About Daniel Strom
Daniel Strom co-founded Elite Scholar Advising, which provides tailored advice to college applicants worldwide. He is a proud graduate of Northwestern University and the Kellogg School of Management, where he also developed admissions experience through his role as an admissions representative. In addition, he also served on the Northwestern Alumni Admissions Interviewing Council. Daniel has helped hundreds of college applicants across the world realize their full potential by gaining admission to their dream schools.